Work is work. I have health care, sick time and PTO. W00T.
Things are better now that I know part of the reason I have been feeling like crap was the sinus infection I have been fighting sans medication for months.
Winter has had a lot of poor and or sick in it. Feeling a bit netter now and, while not flush with cash, at least not totally hosed all the time.
I am selling of my basement of WizKids Schwag. It is nice to get it out of the house. I don't really care about the games that much and have saved some HeroClix to convert to SuperSystem. The rest of it can becmoe "free cash" on E-bay.
If you have ever had someone you dated "ruin" an album, restaurant or club for you, by way of mental association, then you can understand how I feel about the game industry. For me it is like that wild person most of us have dated at some point in our lives. You know that it is nothing but trouble, but man, do you ever want to get involved.
I have also been reminded, by the questions on the auction from one spectacularly dull witted bidder, of the reasons I sometimes hate nerdkind. Nerds, as bread and butter consumers, are a class which, sadly, contains some of the most annoying fuckwits on earth. They have an opinon, a desperate need to be right and money they wont give you unless you pander to both the opinons and the attitude. This one jack ass said I knew nothing about a product which I played in the office, have on my mantle and promoted at shows and in marketing events. He was in the wrong from the get go, but chose to be insulting and refer me back to the WizKids website. I am just a little teeny bit aware of the contents of the Web gallery for HeroClix and knew Mr Jackass's reading of the information was also WRONG and that his citation only proved he was being an idiot about it.
Now, letting the anger go....ahhhh, better now.... I realize am SOOOO happy that my work now requires me to deal with medical billing rather than the wrath of angry (and sometimes deeply stupid)nerds. I am also happy that, in many cases, my answer comes down to telling the person they need to contact their insurance company regarding the billed amount. Rather than say, having someone compare me to Hitler for issuing a warning in my work as forum mod for a gaming company for the use of the term "Jap-Slap" on open comms. Because "Jap Slap" Could not possibly be offensive to anyone right?
"How dare I...freedom of expression, rhubarb, rhubarb."
My old boss at WizKids is now the CEO of a company which produces nothing. They are fighting to get the right to produce something licensed from Marvell and DC that was not making enough to support itself and which had a shrinking player base and distribution issues BEFORE the economy went to the 9th circle of hell. If that is not a castle in the air then I don't know what is.
A year ago in the context of my work "PPC" meant particle projector cannon. Now it means "per patient call". As sexy as the game industry is...I gotta say I like life "back in the world" better. I dream, I sleep, I enjoy my down time. My weight is coming back down and I am not pissed off nearly as much as or as often as I am when dealing with fandom.
It has been kinda rocky getting to this realization, but I think getting laid of by WizKids and then seeing the company blow the fuck up of the face o' the earth has been a really good thing for me. Not only did I get the boot, but there is no going back and, more importantly I think, I don't desire to be a part of that world anymore.
Over the past few years (2008 in particular)there has been much change for me. Recently, I have felt very reclusive so, if you have reached out to me and not gotten a response it is not because I don't care about you. Not at all. In fact, I care about you more by keeping myself away from you when I have nothing constructive or illuminating to say.
If I were a street, I would be blocked off, with large, clearly written signs indicating a detour due to construction.
I am at a place, right now, where almost everything I have been, told myself I was, or told myself I wanted to be for much of my life is not longer "true". I have spent a lot of time trying to do, or be, things for others and now that I don't do that as much I am at loss for a sense of who I am and what I want. Most of my "wants" have been defined by "don't wants". As in I don't want to do this or that, be alone, get yelled at and so forth. I know things I don't want to do like lie, hate things or people, talk smack, be manipulated or manipulate others.
What eludes me right now is the soul-deep desire / purpose that would act as a keel, rudder sail to my life.
It is easy to say "be your self" but first I have to Un- be my Un-self. If I am out of touch it is nothing personal against you, but everything personal for me.
A noble disciple reflects further: "If someone were to estrange me from my friends by slander, speak harshly to me or distract me with pointless, frivolous chatter I would not like it. Likewise, if I were to do this to another they would not like that. For what is unpleasant to me must be unpleasant to another and how could I burden another with that?" As a result of such reflection one abstains from slander, harsh speech and pointless chatter, encourages others to abstain from it and speaks in praise of such abstaining.
Mali (my wife) does a lot of craft stuff with yarn, balms, oils, Knitting and so forth. Some of this she sells and the sales are a big help to our house funds.
I have been searching for a crafty thing which floats my boat and I keep thinking METAL. I like working with metal and want to learn more about casting and other metal craft. I have spent much of the day looking at casting molds for miniatures. I have used them before and I like casting.
So, if I were to cast figures from molds what should I do? Models I find interesting, or models that might sell well. The reason I ask is that there are molds available for a football (American) themed chess set. I am really not interested in football but, it would be a cool gift for people who do care (and like chess)to have a set which had been painted as say ARMY/NAVY or Cougars/Huskies and so on.
I have not had much to say recently, but I have been reading more on the Buddhist principle of "right speech" and I thought it may be worth mentioning.
Right Speech
Since speech is the most powerful means of communication, the Buddha emphasizes the cultivation of right modes of speech. These have been described as avoiding falsehood and adhering to the truth; abstaining from frivolous talk; refraining from harsh language or profanity and cultivating gentle and courteous speech; avoiding vain, irresponsible and foolish talk, and speaking in reasoned terms on subjects of value. Naturally, right speech includes in the modern context right ways of communication whatever the medium used.
We have the web, the world wide web at our disposal, but many chose to be spiders on that web. We bite at each other, we poison each other. We set snares for others and we drain life.
I am not trying to be king of the soap box here. Being known for longer than I like as an angry person I am asking for support in refraining from being a toxic person, online or off.
Private anger(now public anger via the web) does little good and tends to drain the color out of the world; after a time one forgets how to be anything else but angry. Anger and negativity "feel" like power, but its not the kind of power that pays bills, does laundry, or cleans the house; and it is certainly not the kind of power that can be a good listener, help a co-worker, or nurture a friend in need. Negative emotion is a legal drug, but it is neither safe or free.
All that energy tied up in anger, ranting and poisonous thought can be put to use creating the change we wish to see in the world and our lives.
1. The game play has a comic book feel to it. For me, a big part of non- historical gaming is playing a game that captures the feel or “fluff” of the setting. Super System does this very well. There is a lot of action and adventure to be had in a game.
2. Easy entry cost; once you have the rules and found models for your team, then you are good to go. You don’t need to buy any particular “army books” or chase after “rare” figures.
3. You make the game your own. Do you want to make your vision of your favorite name brand Comic Book character? Do you want to create something new? Do you want to add vehicles, or hordes of henchmen? You can do any and all of these with SuperSystem.
Bottom line… If the wallet busting nature of many other games has made you put aside miniatures gaming, then this game may be for you. If you are tired of “I go, you go” games where your super heroes can move OR attack in a turn, then this game may be for you. If you are tired of massive edition overhauls, power creep and having your favorite models retired from play, then this game may be for you.
I purchased the rules as a PDF, to give them a test drive, and used some of my old super hero figures. This game has given me the best play value for dollar out of any game I have purchased to date.
I still go past the film clips and read the comments left by people and trolls and troll people.
Once you get past the "Yu guys R fagz" and "Fock U" level of comments there is that next tier of crapulence...people who post this kind of thing:
"that chick from tomb raider, Angelina something or other"
Okaaaaay, leaving off the many faults and lazy jackass behavior to which we have become numb with regard to online communication, there also is the the one-two, short bus, punch of taking the time to write a bunch of "that guy from that film" bullshit when you are posting ONLINE.
You know, Online, "teh webz", WHERE GOOGLE AND IMDB LIVE.
Not only did you waste your time typing it out, but you waste the time of anyone who is making the effort to read your post and understand what the hell you are on about. If you don't know the details concerning what you are talking about.
Just... Google... It.
Seriously, random poster, take a break, do some basic web research, spell check and THEN, and only then, post.
Honestly, we have this amazing tool for communication and sharing information, yet it seems to make so many people into lazy, reactionary, xenophobic tools with a soapbox.
Saturday game...foiled. Had a nice day all the same (after a minor tantrum).
Sunday was awesome..."like a hundred thousand hot dogs, sir". I made up some more paper models, did laundry and dishes, and spent much of the day at Gasworks Park with the wife-o-tron.
Monday was interesting. Less messed up than many fist days on the job in general, but more chaotic than some others...I give today's work life a 6/10. My direct super quit last week and we are still dealing with some re-org growing pains. It is odd to think that after all the drama at WizKids, the fighting my way in and out early in the layoff, the whole place is kaput. Even if I had stayed on i would be in a worse boat now. So, um, thanks for booting me WizKids.
I am almost done with one of the best random used book purchases I have made to date.
I get OCD about my books and I was upset that this one fell out of the car when I opened the door. The book it used and now is used with a few more dings, dents and crimps.
Being made to focus to my book OCD regarding books, on account of a book mostly about Buddhism, Tao and Zen, is an interesting chance to reflect on that twitchy aspect of my nature.
I work on "the hill"... right across the street from Cafe Vita.
Why is this cool?
1. Ease of bus trasit options 2. Restaurant options are many 3. I am close to all the places I used to enjoy, but don't feel like hauling my ass to after getting home from work. The Garage, The Merc, Stumbling Monk...the list goes on and on. 4. I work with a bunch of my old coworkers from SPP and they are not only happy to see me, but they missed me and have had very nice things to say about me as a worker and human being.
Special thanks to all of you for your b-day wishes, and/or attending our "thing", and/or sending funds for my Wii (which is AWESOME).
Ah luvs mah new Wii.
I have been playing "Blazing Eagles" like there is no tomorrow (or at least no work tomorrow). Mali is actually interested in the Wii sports games (bowling for the win).
I know this is heresy to some gamers, but I could not give a crap about Mario, or any of the other stock, cartoony, Nintendo characters. If you have any games to recommend for the Wii which are not so cutesy that they are like ponies shitting rainbows, then let me know. I do like the Lego games (indy, Star Wars and Batman). Mario cart does seem fun and makes adults curse a blue streak.
Also, DEXTER, season two, is made of win.
In other news; the IRS is still being a little special regarding my attempts to pay and communicate with them.
They lost my 2007 taxes and are charging me late fees. I never got my 600.00 "shut up spend" check from King George. And, for some extra fun, they are sending me nasty-grams via registered mail(thanks for the field trip to the post office guys) despite the fact that I called THEM to set up a payment plan.
10 years ago I was working at the WOTC game center, living with buddies from college and, as my wife puts it "picking 'em before they were ripe" as far as dating was concerned.
I was, as were many, younger, slimmer and less gray. I drank more, listened to loud and angry music and was also often bat-shit insane about things of little import; still very much a person who saw the world in more polarized terms.
5 Years ago I was living in a pretty spartan one bedroom apartment on cap hill. My SO had just moved to Oregon, I was underpaid and doing clerical shit work for a medical center. I had lost my spiritual sense of self and knew that not only could I not go back to my earlier life, I did not want to. I knew I wanted something more and I thought it lived in a person other than myself.
Now, I have some of the old friends and a small but valued group of new friends. I find that I like helping people do what they can, not being angry when people can't do what I want. Spiritually speaking, I am taking to Buddhism more, as time passes and compassion grows where anger once flourished. I love my wife and our home. After many years of being a chowder-head I feel very fortunate to have such a great partner in my life.
If you knew me 10 years back or more as the "angry, chaos guy",or worse; well...trust me, I have chilled the hell out.
I value reason, kindness, learning and, for the most part, calm.
I created a community page so I can keep those of you interested in playing RPGs with us on Saturdays up to speed without bugging the hell out of the rest of LJ.
Out of those who voted and can make Saturday sessions we have a trend toward the dystopian and undead plagued wonders of the planet Salus; known to some as...NECROPOLIS.
I will aim for game on 11/22. Those interested in creating a character before then, get in touch with me. We can have coffee, or tea, and make your PC.
Tonight I was working on "the soundtrack of your lives" since I am big on the atmospheric music with my games. Ahhh, tune-age.
Up next, a little more info about the Holy Orders and finding your place in one.
Ok then, the options which I am willing to run and which are the least prone to being FUBAR, if and when folks can't make a game are,in order of Fubarproofitude:
1. Necropolis (The year is 2350 you are a knight of a holy order and your world is overrun by undead...Templars, guns, and the undead abound) http://www.tripleacegames.com/Necropolis.php
After a few months of NO Rpgs (major burn out) I am ready to run a game again.
The main causes for campaign failure in my experience are:
1. "Wheadonism"
RP intense, multi-session, narrative play; I.E. trying to GM the game Joss Wheadon would script. I love to run a good long game with many player character motivations and hooks, but many folks can't commit to one and they are a real bear to keep up for a GM. NOT doing this type of game pretty much means no White Wolf or "ship and crew" games, but is great for more pulp action / horror game styles.
2. "Player flaking"
Running a multi-session adventure, or campaign, with deep characters means that when someone has to work, or can't make it, or just spins out of control like Vader's TIE fighter, the GM has to take on a another NPC, hand over the reigns of the PC to someone else, or otherwise adapt the story.
3. "Spooling the FTL drive"
Learning a new system and creating characters takes time and sometimes has a steep learning curve.
So, in an effort to overcome these issues, I offer up the following...
Where: Our place When: Every Other Saturday 12pm-4pm, or as late as folks can go to "wrap" a story in one take. What:TBD. Options Include WHFRP, Dark Heresy and Savage Worlds ( available in Spooky Western, Super Villains/Heroes and Dark Future flavors) If interested, please let me know what you would like to play.
The nitty gritty...
As much as possible, each game "episode" will be self contained and not string out over multiple sessions. The games will be more like TV episodes and less like an old serial film, or comic book. This way someone being out for a session will not be as disruptive to the game.
"Your" character...
There will be house characters. These characters are part of a "stable" and players may chose characters from the stable. Of course, in the interests of role playing, I'd like it if folks kept a character under their control from game to game but, if you want to switch out between adventures it is not a problem. People will be able to make their own if they like, but the sheets stay here and become part of the stable. If you make a character for the stable you ALWAYS get to play that character from the stable, if you wish. If you pass on a character, then someone else may use "your" character.
My reasoning here is that a lot of folks just like to bowl and are fine with rental shoes and not bringing "their" ball to the game. A notable difference here being that RPGs require you to carve your own ball and make your own shoes.
As characters grow and progress they develop a file of information and a life of their own even if the "actor" changes. Many have played Sherlock Holmes but, no matter the actor, there is a look and feel to Sherlock Holmes. My goal here is to have a stable of "stable" characters I can use in creating adventures for the party without having to shoe horn PCs into the mix or resort to "you all meet in an adventurer's bar" story telling.
Anyhow, let me know if you are interested. My goal is to get gaming again in a way that is as stress, obligation, and trouble free as possible for myself and my players.
After these many years I honestly have hope that in last night's election we saw the beginning of a time of grand and magnificent change in America.
I have a few out of the ordinary thank you shout outs to make:
To the Bush Administration and the Republican party in general; thank you for being so stupendously good at being stupendously bad. All the bitching and moaning your party did during the Clinton administration's years and when you finally got (or manufactured) not one, but two shots at controlling the country, you created and perpetuated the state of affairs we are in now. The blame sits squarely on your shoulders and it is my dear hope that in the years to come you will be held responsible for what you have done.
However, without your latest years of misrule, the day we would see a Barak Obama rise to the highest office in the land may have been further off. So, thank you, for being a uniting force and helping to create the highest voter turn out in 100 years.
To John Mccain, that was the best concession speech I have ever heard and, frankly, your most honest and heartfelt of this campaign as a whole. That was pure class.
Now then, through the election I was thinking that in some pockets of the country there must have been Neo-Nazis, KKK members, and FOX news fans, watching the same broadcast as I was, who were just about shitting themselves or crying in their moonshine and,really, while I wish that they would give up being jack asses and join the party, I am happy that I was happy and that they, I suppose, were not.
We, as a country, have just cleared one of the oldest and highest barriers to true equality in America. We did it by coming together and we as a people showed ourselves and the opposition that we are capable of grand and united action. We have much to do, much lost ground to regain and many new vistas to explore. Today, I hope that the many of you who have been despondent in these last years are now filled with a new spirit of hope as we brace to endure the foetid wake of the Bush administration and welcome the shining bow wave of our Obama-nation.
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